Admittedly, the year is well under way and all modes of settling in should be over and done. But being me, I am still trying to find the exact niche that I fit into in all this. It usually takes awhile, especially because of how dependent I am on first impressions. No matter how many times it turns out that the person I thought was cool, smart, fun to be around etc. etc. was really a bore and insincere to boot, I keep relying on the dream I had of their personality when I first laid eyes on them. I guess since summer camp is so short there's a kind of mentality where the short time frame helps you to overlook the annoying idiosyncrasies and bond immediately with the nearest you have to a best friend. I usually give myself two weeks in any six week program to find the confidantes I need to make a summer memorable. School, of course, is a whole other playing field where you don't have to worry about lost opportunities so much as lost experiences. Friends are more recyclable, because there are so many people and there's so much time.
Anyhow, tonight was one such excursion. I found myself unwilling to partake in vying for anyone's attention, to draw them to speak to me; I had had enough wishing to be that someone just barely attainable to me, if I keep trying hard enough and manage to keep the good humor coming. So I walked alone a bit during the trek between Brookdale and the general Times Square area (ya gotta love Jamba Juice being open til 1). Anyhow, it was good to know that at the end of the night I still felt like I had a good time with the group I was with, even if I wasn't entirely in my comfort zone.